The Circle of Life

I just heard the news that my big sister in Melbourne just got engaged. Her boyfriend proposed to her on their 3 years and 11 months anniversary dinner with a Tiffany ring. The legendary ring that every girls could dream of. I am totally happy for both of them :) 

I was at church with a group of friends and got the news through bbm from my sister. I was the first one who knows in the family. One thing I realized is about 'The Circle of Life'. I still remember, way back then, when I was still 7th grade, I was at my sister's high school graduation. My sister is the oldest in the big family so she's the one who always begin with 'stuff'. That time I was just starring through the GYM2 glass-door and thought : Hmm, Kapan yah kayak gitu?
And yea, here I am, almost there to the end of IB year, of my high school year. 3 more months to  go until i am really standing on that stage wearing my Kebaya for a graduation. I can't believe how time flies. really, its just feel like yesterday when I have that question in mind while seeing my sister's graduating from high school.

And now is the start of another stage as when I heard my sister's got engaged. Now I start to think. My sister got the ring of her dream from the man that she loves the most. When will I get it? and from who? Those question pops in my head, i just simply can't wait until I go through that stage of life. Oh well, for the time being, i haven't even graduate yet. but, i'm going there, i mean, someday.. like... years later, i am also going to be at the stage where my sister is at the moment.




Congratulation sister =) 

*hugTIGHT*

misstahir

Now that's love

I, somehow, opened BLP's youtube video of their newest song, Cinta Abadi. "Somehow" here defined as my curiosity of the song that led me to press click. Bought the album though, but gave it Melbourne. Listened to the songs already though, but I was not even half awake at 2 AM in the morning in the car. Long story to short, I ended up watching the video. It was good, honestly. Good song, I mean. You know the type of songs that although you could not hear the lyrics so well but still can make you cry? Yes, this is one of them. But, I was actually so curios, again, to the lyric because Barry's introduction was pretty interesting in opening of  that video. 

And as I listened, 3 more times, I got the lyrics in my mind right after. Really I think it is a good song. In the aspect of lyric or the song it self. Lyric nya "Dalem" banget deh! First, I thought that the song is going to put me into the mood of galauness. But, I was wrong. The song actually put me into a realization. Basically the lyric says about how when we love someone but the truth is that the one that we truly love, love another person. Although it hurts, it says that accepting the fact and letting go is perhaps the best thing to do. It also says that love is about loving each other. Duh how to say it, but in indo tau nya as "Cinta itu harus saling memiliki". Unless it's not love. Yups, that's it. 
Ya, basically the song tells about that and it really connects to my life. Well, at least, what I had and I encountered.


Suddenly, I remember a saying: To love is to let someone you love happy for whatever it takes. Simply, it means that you'll do anything just to make them happy, even if they have to be with someone else and not you. It is my favorite saying. I used to tweet, say and share this to many people. But when I encountered moments in life where I need to apply this, I never can put this into action. It's just something that comes out from my mouth easily and something that my brain agrees on. The truth is that putting things into action is always the hardest. Saying it is easy. 

For the longest time, I have been struggling to really have that saying as my mindset. To know that someone you love (or loved) is no longer loving you. To know that he'd rather be with 'her' to make his life happy that he's with you. In my case, I know that when he's with her, I think its more logical for him to have a more promising future of building a family with her rather than with me. I mean, what do you expect? I'm just an 18th years old with uncertainties in life and such. It says that letting go for the better, letting them to be the one that can make them happy, is the act of love. Ya, I found it hard to put all those in action. Really takes time to put those in. 


However, as I listened to the song and more to the introduction that is being said by Barry, it actually has opened my eyes. I have been blind folding my own eyes by not baring with the fact and reality of what is actually happen and what will happen. That he will be with her and life is good for them. The song does not put me into Galau ness but instead brought me to a realization about love. 


Besides, a good song should not make you galau. A good song should open your mind and bring realization about the facts in life.

*hugTIGHT*

misstahir

show love & tolerance, create peace.

Today's entry is dedicated to my spiral ladies:

Untuk Melissa yang pasti sekarang baru bangun mau kelas di San Francisco. 

Untuk Tika yang baru pulang dinner dan lagi buat PR sendirian di apartment di Beijing.

Untuk Filia yang mugkin lagi tidur pules di Korea.

Untuk Sasha yang lagi internetan sambil buat tugas di Jakarta.

Untuk Patrice yang pasti lagi kerjain tugas sampe ngga tidur di Lippo, just a few KM where I wrote this entry.

I'm at the moment missing my spiral ladies very damn much. I miss them like crazy. 
We used to hang out together a lot. Typically every Friday to my house, to the mall and then back at my house. What we did was simple. Talk about cute boys, ugly bitches, and annoying old-people (read- teacher, tehee). But it was really fun. Something I'm always look forward every Friday after school. That's quiet a definition of "TGIF" for me. I think I wrote about this already in my past entries. But I couldn't stop flashing back all the beautiful years I had with my spiral ladies when they were still here. So much different to what I have now. In Spiral, we barely have problem between us. We had some, but we solved it anyway. We fought a lot (not cat fight though, but mouth-fight), but always end up with moment of sorry(s). Anyways, yes, we did have problem but I think it was back in... middle school? Quiet a long time ago. As when we were step into our high school years, we barely have problems. 

When we meet and talk about people, we talked about people outside our circle. 

"Together we love, together we hate" (Sorta becoming our motto)

So it's like this, when one of us hate that "someone" so does the rest of us. Simple. I think it really what makes our circle lasts.  We always stand up for one another. Alias, bela sesama. When one of us is encountering a problem, we help & kita abisin orang yang bikin hidup salah satu dari kita susah.. bersama. Waktu ada yang bikin hidup one of us jadi lebih ribet, kita blacklist bersama. Waktu ada cowo yang brengsek kerjaan cuma mainin and selingkuhin one of us, kita blacklist, kita abisin, kita maki-maki bersama. Waktu ada ugly bitch yang nyolotin one of us, kita teriakin, kita jauhin, kita blacklist.. juga bersama. Jadi semuanya kita lakukan bersama. That's what makes our friendship last. Ngga ada tuh yang namanya ngejelekin sesama. Ya ada sih, tapi kapan? kelas SMP 1? I can't even remember anymore. 


Kita juga jarang nutup-nutupin kenyataan dan fakta. Misalnya, kita merasa, salah satu dari kita dating sama cowo super nggak level alias super brengsek. Yah, kita sadarin! Kita bukain mata nya demi kebaikan temen tercinta. Hehe, walaupun kadang harsh. buttt, we just want the best for everyone of us. 
Kalo misalnya lagi sedih misalnya, ya semua hibur sama-sama. It was a fun never-ending friendship deh. Contrast sih sama sekarang. Dari yang selalu ketemu terus-terusan tiap minggu, sampe sekarang mau ngomong aja susah karena semuanya scattered all over the world. But it's okay, because its just a process in reaching our own dreams. 


So much I write about this, so much I miss them all. NeneQ, TiQa, Sha", PatZ, & Nyi". (Gila, alay abis). Yes, but I do really miss them. Seems like 3 hours of skype aja tuh never enough! 
Phew.
So much different to what I have know. People are talking behind their best friend's back. People talk about people of the same circle. People, just *sigh* eventually blacklist people of the same circle. 

Just talking about friendship matter aja, keliatan banget banyak banget orang susah sekali buat show love, tolerance to just simply create peace. 

Sometimes, I ask God, can I just have my spiral ladies back? Can I? CAN I? 

And again, I remember, the only one thing that we should keep in mind:

The only reason for us to be apart now is because we are on the way in reaching our dreams that we have dreamed about since the first day we met.

  

*HugTIGHT*,

misstahir

little bit of you

You've been busier than ever,

We small talk, work & weather,

That's enough for me, That's good

I refused to go any further 

Because just that much, 

Suddenly it reminds me of Summer,

and the sleepless windy night in September.

"I miss you most but can't go back, can't go back no more."

Picture Perfect, Mungkinkah?

Maaf yah, tapi kali ini bener-bener lagi kepingin nulis pake bahasa indo yang nyantai aja. Yes, after 2 Economics exam that I just had, capek sudah pake bahasa yang formal-formal.

Kalo ngomongin tentang 'Picture Perfect' for me is to live in the U.S. More specific? New York or at somewhere in California. Itu mimpi besar nya. Kalo sampe nggak kesampean tinggal disana, yah anywhere diluar negri Ok-lah. Iya emang I'm not a nationalist person or whatsoever you wanna call it. Imagine aja, dari belum lahir selalu sudah diajak keluar negri sama my parents. Dari umur 5 udah ngerasain ENAKnya tinggal di luar dengan environment nya bersih banget. Sementara di Indo.. berantakan, rules nya nggak jelas udah gitu banyak banget kacau-kacau. Plus point di indo yah palingan karena bisa punya supir & pembantu aja kali yah. Which I kinda cannot live without =S Besides, seeing my aunties' life yang enakkkk banget di luar sana juga bikin aku tambah pingin cepet2 hengkang dari Indo yang panas, lengket, amburadul ini.

Anyways kok jadi ngomongin itu sih. Hmm, *thinking about picture perfect*
Kemarin sempet ngobrol sama mami. Mami itu satu-satu nya orang dimana aku berani mengutarakan segala yang aku mau, yang aku mimpiin, or yang aku pikirin. Jadi kalo share sama dia yah nggak ada bohong atau yang ditutup2i lagi..
Sempet bilang kalo aku pingin bangeett (to the max) kerja di salah satu entertainment industry gede di U.S, like: Unversal music, SONY BMG, or like Disney gitu2 deh. Well at least ada experience untuk kerja disana gitu deh kalo ngga bisa tetap. Semua yang berbau2 entertainment business. Cuma kalo dilihat-lihat memang sepertinya nggak mungkin. Apalagi aku bukan bule. Orang indo kan susah di accept plus, ngga tau kenapa kita nggak se-creative mereka. *iya nggak si?*
But as always, Mother always say: Start with a dream, and make it happen. Kalo dilihat dari my past entries about dream, itu semua mami yang ngajarin untuk nggak berhenti bermimpi.

Kepingin no.2 adalah untuk jadi penyambung orang indo yang mau go international. Aaaha! Dream too high bangettt sih. Tapi kalo itu sampe bisa sih keren juga lho kalo dipikir2. hahaha...
Nggak tau sih sampe sekarang how to reach it. Kata mami sih, sekolah aja and take any opportunities nanti kalo sudah di sana (read-US). Siapa tahu hoki-hoki jadi bisa meraih mimpi.

Duh, mimpiku banyak banget. Mau ku juga banyak banget. Kadang suka takut kecewa nggak bisa achieve it or gagal gitu. Tapi yaah again I remember what mother said: Start with a dream... Make it happen!

So yeah, from that right on, I dont see the 'mungkin-nggak' nya dulu deh. Just do the best I can to take every best opportunity and let God do the rest =)

Cheers, Hugs & Kisses

misstahir

I want something (BIG)Ger !

At least for the last one year, I have been very sure to go to Melbourne and take Communication as my major. After all of the American dream I had since 5 years old, Melbourne had really stolen my heart when I visited the city back in April 2010. I like most of the thing there. From the city, the environment, and above all the surrounding. I really have awesome friends there! Not to be mention Prima & Aldi who just moved there last January. So I don't have any fear coming around when I decided to change my destination from California to Melbourne.

But I guess, it's true that things change. My internship in JJF has change the way I think and see the world. I am really truly interested to the entertainment business. I had share it with everyone. But as I told people about my passion, they said that Melbourne does not offer me a chance to be in the entertainment industry. So they start to persuade me to go to US instead to take better education on the particular major that I really-really love.

I am the type of girl who decide things very quickly. *Hmm* Sometimes its good, but at the other times its actually not =S
So, I made quick change as soon as I discovered Full Sail University. Its located, kind of (VERY MUCH actually) far away, in Florida. I checked out the website, and the school looks very promising for me! I want to take Entertainment business. Just right to what I enjoy to do!

However, I am actually very scared.. I mean, I got no one in Florida. Like, literary NO ONE. There's also really few Indonesian in there. Hmm..  It's a 2 years course so I thought that I might can survive. Hmm, I don't know yet though. Anyways, long story to short, I tried to do a survey because I want to see how other people think of my decision of taking Entertainment business. Surprisingly, EVERYONE. like.. ALL PEOPLE.. really suppport me. They said that it's where I belong. Getting all of the positive feedback from people makes me even more excited and sure of going there.

I really want to go there. Sometimes, I think that I want something too much. You know? Like, not everyone can go to Full Sail. But I really want it. I don't want to spend 4 years taking a major that I don't really into. Meanwhile, this major is the one that I enjoy to do because I had experience of doing it as well.

I have in mind something big, but I want something BIGGER and I let time to prove it to whether I can make my dream come true.. or is it just one of my dream that slightly comes in my mind and will soon disappear as soon as the other dream strikes in.

Trust that time will tell, yes it will


huggiekissie-

misstahir

Java Jazz Festival 2011

Hello!

I first plan to write a daily journal about my experience of being in the team. But, it was such a tiring 3 days festival that I didn't have time at night to write. As far as I could remember, the moment (hours prior to my big day), my heart beats faster than ever. On Friday 4th March, I skipped school and went to Kemayoran from early in the morning. I was so 'deg-deg'kan to do all this job because I'm a newbie in the team who somehow become a coordinator.

It was such a GREAT-AWESOME&COOL experience to be part of the JJF team. I mean, I have been dreaming to be part of them since like... 8th grade? So, until this point, I say that one goal.. check!

First day there, I didn't know any of the people. Loner, yes! While the rest got their friends already since they came from same universities or they just happen to met before. They are all Jakarta-nians. You get what I mean? Same crowd, went to same high school whatsoever. But, they are all very nice. Most of them welcome me very much in the team, while there are also some of them who are really bossy and look down on me. It's great to be able to know and get into a new community and circle of friends.

I learned a lot of thing during my internship in JJF. All this time, I have been doing concert at church & school, I felt it was already ribet enough. But getting down to JJF, i realized that it's 10x more ribet.

I realized that our concert is nothing compared to this whole Java Jazz Production thing. I learned a lot especially from my surroundings. I learned from Mba Tya, Mba Nirmala & Mba Inge. It's good that I got time to talk with them during our spare time about their job. I mean, they got into a job that I have been dreaming to get in someday.

I also met a lot of new people. I got to know more about the committee and the production. I also met a pretty and super nice lady named Mba Inge Bali. We named her Bali because there's another Mba Inge who is the head of promotion division.

Mba Inge Bali is from Bali. She's not in my division. I just happened to talk with her while I was waiting in the front desk. She's the Talent Coordinator- the one who deal with international artists. She's been working as a freelance for JJF since... the first JJF. So, she has great experience with this festivals. She is really nice.

During the internship, I also get to meet a lot of musicians! It's great to get to know them as well.

I miss the team already. I want to be part of JJF or any JFP again sometimes. If only I can manage time with all of the university happening ahead in my life.

Last but not least, I want to thank God. For allowing me to be part of the team. For making my dreams come true. So, reader, dream high because dream do come true.

xx

misstahir

Me with Fourplay :) 

With Acoustic Alchemy

With New York Voices

With Marcel

With Abdul and the Coffee Theory

The one and only, Corrine Bailey Ray!!!!!

It's like a DREAM come true

So I was just writing about the whole "dream" thing in my previous entry. Not long after that I experienced what it said to be "Dream do come true".

For the longest time, I have always wanted to be part of a music festival. As in the crew part. I don't really care of being a "babu". Long story to short, I applied to Java Jazz Festival through so many ways! It was such an experience to be confidence to achieve what we want. First, I tried put it through online application. Unfortunately, my age does not meet the requirement. I'm just an 18th years old.
Secondly, I tried sending my application to Om Peter Gontha (The owner of Java Production). But, he did not bother to open my email. Then, for the most i-don't-know-why-i-did-it, I emailed Om Peter himself. I wrote about how I really want to be part of the Java Jazz team. Again, he did not bother for quiet a loooong time. Thirdly, I tried to apply via Mba Inge and Mba Nirmala. They are the head of promotion team (The PR of Java Jazz as well). I emailed them and submit my CVs etc. and then after quiet a longggg time waiting and was quiet hopeless to get in.. one time at school during English class, I received an email from Mba Nirmala saying that I GOT ACCEPTED INTO THE TEAM! *wohoo*

I was so excited and I jumped for like 10 times until Mr.Doug would probably think I'm crazy. But who cares?

So yeah, they said I got into the Info Booth section. I didn't mind seriously. I was like okay to any job as long as I'm in the team. So I came to the briefing yesterday. I don't know what to say HOW GREAT GOD IS, but I was soo Sooo SOOO Lucky.

There's a dude, Randolph, who supposedly become the coordinator of the photo shoot. He came late. And knowing that, Mba Inge was looking for another person who can handle his job.

"Mba Jane. Mba Jane.. Oke kamu gantiin Randolph"

Yeap, still remember, that's what she said. My hands were shaking all the way =S

I met the other coordinators, they are all above 20 and they have a decent job already. Meanwhile, who am I? Just a girl who haven't even finish HIGH SCHOOL.

I am so happy. So thankful to God. Hopefully all the event goes well! So excited for JJF 2011!

HugsKisses xx

Janey